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Ramblings from a Southern liberal, Boomer, single parent, grandmother, reunited birthmother, cancer survivor, pop-culture observer, retired teacher

Most dramatic lymphoma posts are from June 2002 - February 2003 archives.

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The Waking

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I cannot go.

We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.

Light takes the Tree, but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me; so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.

This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.

--Theodore Roethke


Joy's Updates - Straight from the Horse's Mouth.
Tuesday, August 20, 2002  
Bad Day

Not sure why but this hasn't been such a good day. I just feel bad. For some reason around two weeks after treatment, people sort of bottom out. Maybe that's it. I went to see Jim at Healthy Habits this morning and then by the vet's for a bag of cat food. This afternoon I went to the library and stopped by to see Dr. Spigel. The onc nurse asked me what I was doing there. I told her I wanted to ask him about my neck and showed her. They worked me in, and when Dr. Spigel walked in the exam room he asked if my neck blew out on me. He wrote a prescription for Prednisone and said I did the right thing to come by. I'm glad he said that.

I got a few things at Kroger that seemed sort of good like Jello, bananas, fruit and cottage cheese, and V-8 Juice. Nothing tastes good and I'm not that hungry, but I make myself eat. Who'd have thought I'd ever say that? When I do feel hungry for something, I make it or go get it. Sunday was a good day, and that food at Calypso tasted good. Nothing tastes like it normally does, though, and hasn't for a while. Wonder how long after all this it takes to enjoy food again and to sleep?

5:52:00 PM

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