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Ramblings from a Southern liberal, Boomer, single parent, grandmother, reunited birthmother, cancer survivor, pop-culture observer, retired teacher

Most dramatic lymphoma posts are from June 2002 - February 2003 archives.

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The Waking

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I cannot go.

We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.

Light takes the Tree, but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me; so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.

This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.

--Theodore Roethke


Joy's Updates - Straight from the Horse's Mouth.
Friday, August 30, 2002  
Sarah Cannon Center

We got back around 1 this afternoon and then I took a pretty good nap. This is all getting much more involved than I anticipated. I guess I thought I'd have Cancer-Lite and just be sort of tired and feel bad some during treatment. Yeah, denial or maybe wishful thinking. I do feel a little better today and think it might be the antibiotics.

Dr. Hunt wants to do radiation every week day for 4 weeks. My time to be there will be 2:45, so if I need a driver sometime, please let me know if you could be available then. Mother and I think we'll be fine, but I might need someone sometime.

What he said about the swelling is that the treatment is working and that the lymphatic system is like a filter and is catching all the dead lymphoma cells and other stuff. Lymphoma responds really well to radiation, so he expects to go in and zap them. Today was strange. They put this white plastic mesh mask over my face and neck that had been softened in warm water, I think. Then they let it harden. Then they x-rayed and marked all over it. I suppose I'll wear this every time so they can know where to aim. He said I'd have a sore throat and that part of my parotid gland would be gone which will give me a dry mouth temporarily, I hope. If they can't miss my throat, what's to keep them from destroying my thyroid and those other glands? I guess I'll deal with that later, but it's sort of scary.

They are really nice there at Sarah Cannon, and it feels calm there too. I've embarked on a journey much larger than I thought about. I guess I'm getting the entire experience! I have to believe it's all going to be worth it and will turn out OK.

5:36:00 PM

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