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Ramblings from a Southern liberal, Boomer, single parent, grandmother, reunited birthmother, cancer survivor, pop-culture observer, retired teacher

Most dramatic lymphoma posts are from June 2002 - February 2003 archives.

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The Waking

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I cannot go.

We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.

Light takes the Tree, but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me; so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.

This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.

--Theodore Roethke


Joy's Updates - Straight from the Horse's Mouth.
Tuesday, October 01, 2002  

My blood counts were pretty good. The white count was normal but the red count was a little low but almost normal. Dr. Spigel said it was probably as close as it would get while that place is healing. I go back to see him in 2 weeks. He wants to talk to Dr. Burkey to see when I can resume treatment. That scares me big time. I asked him if I were going to have a very low dose, and he said yes. I told him it scared me to think of having more than my body could handle again, and he agreed. I'm just now getting some energy and feeling better. I don't want that jeopardized. I'll see Burkey on Oct 14 and Spigel on the 15th, so nothing will happen until then. I'm thinking of talking to one of the lymphoma experts at Vanderbilt just to get more intormation. I'm going to mention that to Dr. Spigel when I see him next and have it go through him. He can send them my information and they'll get back to him. That way I'll have another opinion. I'm understandably cautious now. I'm just having a CT scan and not a PET scan next week. That won't show as much as the PET scan would, and I'd like to know all I can before undergoing more treatment. I want to know what we're dealing with and what is there. Any advice any of you have, email me. As you might have guessed, I'm not easily influenced but will consider what you say.

5:02:00 PM

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