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The Waking
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I cannot go.
We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.
Light takes the Tree, but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me; so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.
This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.
--Theodore Roethke
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Joy's Updates - Straight from the Horse's Mouth.
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Friday, October 25, 2002
ENT
I had an appointment with the residents today at the otolaryngology clinic at Vanderbilt. Dr. Matheny wasn't there, so I saw Dr. Chang who was the one who changed my bandages every day when I was in the hospital, so he could definitely tell how well it's healing. He's more down to business and doesn't have the bedside manner that Dr. Burkey and some other have, but he's very thorough and dedicated and concerned. I like him and all of them there, but Burkey is awesome! Chang is the only one who has brought up my having a skin graft as if it's a given. Dr. Burkey has said he wants this to heal from the inside out, which I hope it can. Jean Smith told me about wound treatment that they do at Baptist and that the NHC nurses are learning here in Dickson. She said I'd be a good candidate for it. This involves using the patient's blood and spinning it so the platelet rich plasma can be mixed with a gel which is put in the wound. The healing is much faster based on studies and case histories. This sounds like a possible alternative to grafting, but I'll do what needs to be done about this.
Dr. Chang was concerned that Dr. Spigel was upset because he couldn't resume chemo without discussing it with Dr. Burkey, but I told him Dr. Spigel was OK about that because a clock isn't ticking like it is with some cancers. Besides, Dr. Spigel isn't going to play roulette with my life like that. I'm sure it will start again soon though since they'll talk Monday. It scares me so much to think about sitting in that chair with the IV in my arm and going through it again. I just want to cry. Big crying too! I feel like that white-around-the-mouth-look scared.
I will see Dr. Spigel Tuesday and the residents Nov. 27. Then Dr. Burkey on Dec. 2. Chemo progress will be reported again soon. (sigh)
5:06:00 PM
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