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The Waking
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I cannot go.
We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.
Light takes the Tree, but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me; so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.
This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.
--Theodore Roethke
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Joy's Updates - Straight from the Horse's Mouth.
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Tuesday, January 13, 2004
Treatment
Today went well. The Benadryl made me sleepy, so I napped in the chair during the maintenance Rituxan treatment and then slept until 5:30 when I got home. My hand and arm where I had the IV feel heavy and sore, but otherwise I feel fine. Three more of these to go and then one more round, and that should be it! Dr. Spigel said everything looks good. I told him I'd decided that the lymphoma is gone and that even though it typically comes back that I didn't think it would. He said just because it often returns doesn't mean that it would and that he has a patient whose NHL has stayed gone for 30 years. He also mentioned something about lung cancer patients getting an infection that activates the immune system, and while it fights the infection, it also goes after the cancer cells. So maybe that happened with me. Perhaps there is a positive side to the neck disaster. I choose to believe it and have decided that's how it is.
Mother had an appointment with the doctor who did her cataract surgery and got a good report. She came by to see me while I was in the chemo lounge and came back later when I was through. We went to lunch at Applebee's and then went to G & G to take my Rainbow vacuum cleaner to be repaired. He said it was the brushes. Ned diagnosed it correctly just from reading my blog. Yes, it has been out of commission for a long time now which is not a good idea with two cats in the house. The Rainbow distributors are never at their place yet still have a message on their answering machine. They didn't return my calls which is unusual, so I borrowed the Electrolux I gave Brian and Melissa since they'll be gone this weekend to ChattaCon. Brendan's first science fiction convention! Let the geekdom begin!
When I was at Brian and Melissa's, Brendan went through his repertoire for me. He is pulling up, standing, and getting ready to walk. He says "Mama" which Melissa said also means that he wants something. Makes sense to me. Brian is "Baba" or "Ahbah" which would work out well if he calls him Papa, but they're going for Daddy. He also says, "Hi." It was good to see them and get to hold Brendan.
Now about G&G .... have any of you been in there? It's amazing and horrifying. Junk, boxes, millions of vacuum cleaners and sewing machines clutter the place almost to the ceiling. There is a very narrow path through it all. Many of the vacuum cleaners had repair tags on them but lots didn't. Very strange. Mother asked him if people didn't come pick up their vacuums. He said some of them are slow about it. Yeah, I'd say!
11:06:00 PM
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