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The Waking
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I cannot go.
We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.
Light takes the Tree, but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me; so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.
This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.
--Theodore Roethke
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Joy's Updates - Straight from the Horse's Mouth.
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Thursday, September 08, 2005
Bones
I had an appointment with my orthopedist today. He said to continue the exercises I learned in physical therapy at the gym I'm planning to join. I got free passes for a week from PT for both gyms and will see which one I like best. Any of you have a preference? Dr. Rushford said I'd know when I needed to come back because I'm in stage 3 of 4 of rotator cuff disease. The next step is a cortisone shot and then arthroscopic surgery. So I need to be dedicated to exercise and hold all this off as long as possible.
I asked him about chemo and bone problems since many people I've known who had cancer treatment had hip and knee replacements afterward. He said Predinsone especially causes big problems with femural and humeral bones. I asked if it were reversible or just messed up. He said it was permanent. I had massive doses of Prednisone for over 3 months as well as chemo which also caused bone damage, so not only is my life span going to be shorter but my quality of life will be worse. What they say is true about if the cancer doesn't kill you, the treatment will. What I want to know is why they don't bother to tell us any of this? I hated taking that Prednisone anyway as some of you who read this blog then remember, but I'd have appreciated an explanation, so I could have made an informed decision about what I was taking. Cancer treatment is such a nightmare and horrible experience to endure.
Kathy's sister-in-law had chemo, radiation, and a bone marrow transplant for leukemia. Her oncologist asked if she were taking magnesius and calcium, and she said yes since they were included in her multi-vitamin. They didn't follow through to ask if she were taking extra amounts or how much or whatever. Now she has osteoporosis and is stooped.
I know the top priority is to save our lives during cancer, which we all agree is vital. It's just that the aftermath continues in ways we had no idea would happen.
6:11:00 PM
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