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The Waking
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I cannot go.
We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.
Light takes the Tree, but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me; so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.
This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.
--Theodore Roethke
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Joy's Updates - Straight from the Horse's Mouth.
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Friday, June 14, 2002
Cleopatra
Some of you have wondered why I just now told you about this. That would have made it too real. I hadn't even admitted it to myself and tried to feel convinced that I had swolllen glands because of sinus infection. This is why I waited over a month for it to go away and then went to the walk-in clinic for antibiotics. The doctor I saw wouldn't treat it without calling the pathologist in to do the fine-needle biopsy. I had to wait a week to get those results and managed to overcome a lot of worry with denial. I didn't really find out it was changing until I saw Dr. Spigel last week. I coped as long as I kept busy with tasks to focus on like hours of research, preparation for and teaching my class, and checking my sick days. I kept thinking I was going to die right away from the chemotherapy or much sooner than I thought from the cancer. Now I don't feel that way, but I had to calm down some. Creating this page is my way of reaching out and letting others know what is going on. There was too much misinformation last time, and I hope to avoid that as much as possible. It's been so good to hear from many of you and others some of you passed the information along to. I feel the positive thoughts and prayers and need them. Thanks so much!!
5:41:00 PM
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