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The Waking
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I cannot go.
We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.
Light takes the Tree, but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me; so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.
This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.
--Theodore Roethke
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Joy's Updates - Straight from the Horse's Mouth.
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Sunday, September 01, 2002
Play
Mother and I went to the Renaissance Center to see Harvey this afternoon. She drove since I don't feel that competent to drive now, but will see if I can change that soon. Ned Southerland (Cornbread Ned as he likes to be known) had a small part in it, and his son Tim a larger part. It was a community theater production. I think it was good for me to get out like that. I was tired when I got home and ate some watermelon and rested. Then I had a couple of enjoyable phone calls and am warming some food Mother brought me, doing laundry, and unloaded the dishwasher. Who would have ever thought these would be accomplishments! I'm going to try to make myself do more when I can so my energy won't get so low.
Yesterday afternoon Cindy Draper stopped by and brought the funniest hat. It's a black baseball cap with a bunch of black braids hanging from it. She also brought some Ben & Jerry's!!
I'm still concerned about this radiation. In his zeal to go in and zap the bad guys, I wish Dr. Hunt would remember radiation isn't the only weapon being used here. Chemo and Rituxan are at work. What I wish is that he'd miss some places in my neck that the chemo can handle like leaving my salivary glands, thyroid, and other things like that alone. This can cause damage to teeth, and I have some expensive dental work. So I wish he'd go lower instead of trying to get them all with radiation. I think these are legitimate concerns. I suppose they think compared to death, they are small, which they are, but they are long-term.
I've figured out something. Since I've never had any serious illnesses or major medical ordeals, all this now is overwhelming to me. This is out of my range of experience and takes a totally different way of coping.
6:55:00 PM
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