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Ramblings from a Southern liberal, Boomer, single parent, grandmother, reunited birthmother, cancer survivor, pop-culture observer, retired teacher

Most dramatic lymphoma posts are from June 2002 - February 2003 archives.

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The Waking

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I cannot go.

We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.

Light takes the Tree, but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me; so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.

This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.

--Theodore Roethke


Joy's Updates - Straight from the Horse's Mouth.
Tuesday, September 17, 2002  

I start getting ready for bed now around 9 pm and usually am in bed before 10. The new me! I've been waking up every two hours, so a few of you asked why I didn't take the sleeping pills I had prescribed for me. Guess I was trying to do it without them, but took one last night and it worked. I slept the whole night until 6:30!! I just barely woke up once but not enough to look at the clock. This is great. Maybe I'm back on track now.

Dr. Spigel called yesterday afternoon to see how I am, when I came home from the hospital, what antibiotics I'm taking, and what was said during my conversations at Vanderbilt. To his credit, he sends patients to other doctors when it's needed. I told him when he said he'd tell his partners about my reaction so they could be prepared in case it happened with one of their patients that I'm always the teacher! I guess that's my role in life. He said, "Well, Joy, some of us are just born to it. What can I say?"

Right now my life revolves around these bandages. They have to be changed twice a day. I was nervous yesterday doing it all by myself, but it helps knowing Jean will be here to check progress and be aware of any problems. I don't want any more infection in that area. It feels so good not to have a fever for the first time in over a month. I'm grateful for so many things I used to take for granted.

7:53:00 AM

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