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Ramblings from a Southern liberal, Boomer, single parent, grandmother, reunited birthmother, cancer survivor, pop-culture observer, retired teacher

Most dramatic lymphoma posts are from June 2002 - February 2003 archives.

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The Waking

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I cannot go.

We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.

Light takes the Tree, but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me; so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.

This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.

--Theodore Roethke


Joy's Updates - Straight from the Horse's Mouth.
Tuesday, October 29, 2002  
Good News

Today during my appointment with Dr. Spigel, he said I'd resume treatment next week. His plans are for two treatments of Rituxan only!! I'm not sure if they are three or four weeks apart, but after the last one, I'll have CT and PET scans to determine what's going on. This is exactly what I was hoping to hear and told him that. He said he knew I'd be glad about it.

There aren't the side-effects with Rituxan there are with chemo because it's targeted for lymphoma cells and doesn't attack everything. It's still not a walk in the park because it's very effective in killing cancer and continues to work for months after the treatment. Here's another link to find out more about Rituxan and stress and one about mice. It takes four hours for the IV infusion. Some people had allergic reactions to it and had to stop or take more drugs and have it administered slowly. They gave me Benedryl and Decadron before it by IV and a couple of Tylenols. I didn't have any problems with the IV but with how effectively it killed the tumors afterward.

Dr. Spigel said when he talked to Dr. Burkey and told him he'd never seen a reaction like I had that Dr. Burkey said neither had he. I'm a freak. What can I say?

Dr. Spigel was really impressed with the results from the MLD therapy. He said I was more symmetrical now. True and funny!

I hate to be a nag (yeah, right), but why are there no comments? I feel so alone!! I have no one, you know. (Is this dramatic and pitiful enough for you?) I realize that my sincerity gap is surpassed only by my lack of martyrdom.

2:17:00 PM

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