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Ramblings from a Southern liberal, Boomer, single parent, grandmother, reunited birthmother, cancer survivor, pop-culture observer, retired teacher

Most dramatic lymphoma posts are from June 2002 - February 2003 archives.

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The Waking

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I cannot go.

We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.

Light takes the Tree, but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me; so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.

This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.

--Theodore Roethke


Joy's Updates - Straight from the Horse's Mouth.
Tuesday, October 08, 2002  
This 'n That

I had a CT scan and a mammogram yesterday and ran several errands. Got cat food and Frontline for my furry dictators. Also had other places to go and things to do. I forgot to post anything. I took a nap during the afternoon and then still didn't remember it.

I've spent most of my time waiting it seems since I've been on sick leave. Seeing doctors involves waiting and waiting. I'm not sure when the treatment will resume and end now. My neck needs to heal. It will probably go into 2003 and cause me to meet my deductible and out-of-pocket expenses again. I've definitely done that now and am into my insurance paying 100%. My $24,000 week at Vanderbilt didn't cost me any money. It cost me lots of other things though! I don't want to take a chance on the chemo's slowing healing, and it can do that. Dr. Spigel is getting ready to do it again but has to check with Dr. Burkey first. I'm scared just thinking about it. I don't want a fever or any neck problems.

I won't see Dr. Burkey until Dec. 2 but will see Dr. Matheny twice between now and then.

10:28:00 AM

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