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The Waking
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I cannot go.
We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.
Light takes the Tree, but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me; so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.
This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.
--Theodore Roethke
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Joy's Updates - Straight from the Horse's Mouth.
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Wednesday, January 15, 2003
Change
Last night on Judging Amy, Maxine (Amy's mother played by Tyne Daly) was talking about wanting things to stay the same while also looking forward to some major changes in her life. She wanted it both ways. I understand that. Here I am wondering what to do next for another job if I retire from teaching. Some people have the idea that teacher retirement isn't about half of my already sucky salary and that I can live on it. Not and stay in my house and drive a car and eat. I'd have to give up two of those at least. The job market is really bad now, and I'm at an age no one wants to hire. So I have some real concerns here besides change, working all year, and being expected to show up at work when it snows. It would be really easy to go back to teaching. I enjoy it and know how to do it, but maybe I do need to try something else. Some of you have made suggestions which I am doing; however, I'm going to need to have money coming in sometime this summer and will need a job. Fear of change? You betcha!!
One of the women at the monthly meeting of our support group last night said that treatment turns us into couch potatoes. This might be what's really going on here. I've been an inactive hermit quite a while now and am really liking it. Maybe I need someone to move in here with me so we can get things under control. Of course, it's possible I could turn them into a fellow dilettante (which is what I prefer to call this), and have company to discuss movies, tv, and other things. Besides, if we share expenses, we might be able to live on what we have.
7:57:00 PM
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