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The Waking
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I cannot go.
We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.
Light takes the Tree, but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me; so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.
This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.
--Theodore Roethke
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Joy's Updates - Straight from the Horse's Mouth.
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Tuesday, January 28, 2003
Synchronicity
Yesterday I felt relatively energetic and got some things accomplished. Most of it had to do with the sunshine, but I also felt elated knowing I was not at work and broke into a huge smile as I drove past schools. As much as I enjoyed teaching all those decades, I was thinking about how I just don't want to keep explaining things for a living anymore. Being in charge of the behavior of others is the worst part of the job. How many of you have jobs where you give others permission to go to the bathroom? For over thirty years I've told people where to sit, what to read, how to write about it, how to behave, but not what to think. Then I've critiqued and evaluated their work and corrected their papers and actions. I ask questions I know the answers to and expect to get my way. This leads to some habits and character flaws that are not particularly easy to translate into a social life. My cousin said the worst people they deal with at Social Security are retired teachers who say things like, "Well, I taught school for forty years. I guess I know how to fill out a form!" Then yesterday Dr. Phil was mediating between a wife and her mother-in-law whom he asked if she were a schoolteacher. She said yes she was retired. He grinned and said he knew it! The damage has already been done, I'm sure. But now perhaps I can pick up other bad habits when I do something else. Some might even counteract the ones I have and cancel them out.
While I was at Kroger yesterday, I looked at the books for a while. One caught my attention - What Should I Do with My Life? Since I'm trying to figure that out now, I bought it in hardback which I don't usually do. When I got back, I turned on the TV while I was checking email. That's when I saw Dr. Phil. Then Oprah had her entire show about that book I'd just bought. The author is one of those people who can't seem to avoid making money no matter what he does even though the book and his quest are about enjoying what he does. Following your bliss, as Joseph Campbell describes it. One of the guests on the show was a lawyer who quit and opened his own bakery in Washington DC that specializes in cakes. A screenwriter left LA and moved back to Pittsburgh to teach creative writing and to return to writing about the real people he felt distanced from in Hollywood. Another was a son of a Chinese immigrant who became a doctor and sent this son to Yale in order to follow in his career path. The son instead decided to teach. His father wouldn't support him financially as long as he followed that goal, so the son lived in low-cost housing and on food stamps until he could do better. There were others whose lives became happier and more fulfilled when they discovered what they really loved and wanted to do and did them. I do hope I've convinced some students to do that. I've tried. Now I get another chance to take my own advice. With that in mind, I've tried to decide how to translate my interests into another career.
1:03:00 PM
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