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Ramblings from a Southern liberal, Boomer, single parent, grandmother, reunited birthmother, cancer survivor, pop-culture observer, retired teacher

Most dramatic lymphoma posts are from June 2002 - February 2003 archives.

Email Joy Durham at joydurham@comcast.net

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The Waking

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I cannot go.

We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.

Light takes the Tree, but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me; so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.

This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.



--Theodore Roethke






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Joy's Updates - Straight from the Horse's Mouth.
 
Friday, December 12, 2003  
Marriage and other Institutions

I was thinking about some married couples other day and couldn't believe they are still married after 20 or 30 years or more. I remember conversations with one or both of them years ago and how miserable they were - not to mention how they acted with and to each other. I realize many people are shocked when people get a divorce and so am I in some cases; however, I'm more surprised that some keep on with the endurance contest. Really odd to me. Perhaps their expectations are low. I did read somewhere in a blog (Subversity's, I think - if not, please let me know) that expectation is the foreplay of disappointment. I agree since others don't follow our scripts and we set up unrealistic expectations.

Maybe that's my problem with relationships. I expect too much from them. They should be easy though and not such a struggle (power and in general). Most people treat strangers better than the person they've chosen to love and put before others. Seems that what happens most of the time is a meshing of neuroses that intensify the problems each person has. They seek out someone who will reinforce how they think they deserve to be treated and what they are used to unless they get help and move past it. I grew up in a functional family and am fairly well-adjusted. It's hard to find someone else who is and isn't still in one of those good marriages. Although I'm some people's worst nightmare since I'm an old lady who lives alone with cats now, it's not that bad. Compared to some alternatives, it's great actually. I'm not lonely and can be as busy or lazy as I want to be.

The definitive book on relationships is The Missing Piece Meets the Big O by Shel Silverstein. Despite the provocative title and its being shelved in the children's book section, that book speaks volumes with line drawings and few words about personal growth and relationships. Check it out.

10:08:00 AM



 
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