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Ramblings from a Southern liberal, Boomer, single parent, grandmother, reunited birthmother, cancer survivor, pop-culture observer, retired teacher

Most dramatic lymphoma posts are from June 2002 - February 2003 archives.

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The Waking

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I cannot go.

We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.

Light takes the Tree, but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me; so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.

This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.

--Theodore Roethke


Joy's Updates - Straight from the Horse's Mouth.
Saturday, December 10, 2005  
Damn Those People

Yesterday Brendan and I hung out in Bellevue while Melissa did some Christmas shopping at the gift shop at the zoo. We had a lot of fun. Before we went in Toys R Us, I told Brendan to stay near me and that he could look at and play with anything he wanted to. As soon as we got in the store, he immediately ran to the stuffed animals he loves so much. I said something to him about getting away from me which didn't do any good since he ran at full speed down an aisle. It scared me to death since it takes only a second for someone to abduct a child. When I caught up with him, I put him in the shopping cart and told him he had to get in there since he wouldn't stay with me and ran away. He took it really well and rode around as we checked out the toys.

When we went to the mall, I explained to Brendan that we would eat lunch and then go to the play area. He does really well as long as he knows what to expect. After lunch, I told him again to stay with me, but he ran gleefully to the play area. When I got there, he was sitting on the steps waiting for me (he's fast). I told him I couldn't let him play with the children because he ran away from me. Without a word or whine, he got up and climbed in the stroller and sat there. I wanted to cry. I wanted to give in. I wanted to hug him and let him do whatever he wanted to. It wasn't that hard disciplining Brian. I held strong though. I had to. The stakes are too high not to be vigilant. After a little while, I told him he could play now. He scurried out there and really enjoyed it.

What bothers me is living in a world where we have to watch children so closely. I hate it that predators and perverts are out there lurking about to abuse and kill children. He's just 2 1/2, so how can he understand there are bad people who could hurt him. I don't understand it myself.

What a pleasure it was looking at those children playing, laughing, and trusting while their parents and grandparents watch and smile and love. It's the best of humanity, and we'll do whatever it takes to protect them.

10:44:00 PM

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