Open links in secondary window

Ramblings from a Southern liberal, Boomer, single parent, grandmother, reunited birthmother, cancer survivor, pop-culture observer, retired teacher

Most dramatic lymphoma posts are from June 2002 - February 2003 archives.

Email Joy Durham at

Welcome! Please sign my guest map or guest book. And Comment!!

[my collaborative other blog] MUTUAL ADMIRATION BLOG

[Adoption Blogs & Books]
Adoption Search Blog
First Parents
The Same Smile
The Daily Bastardette
The Guide to Search and Reunion
My Reunion with Kathy

My Family and Friends

Sign In - Plant a Flag!

Free Guestmap from Free Guestmap from

View My Guestbook
Sign My Guestbook


moon info

My Amazon Wish List
[For anyone who wants to buy me a gift or discuss what we like.]

[ Reading & Entertainment ]

Blogroll Me!

Cost of the War in Iraq
(JavaScript Error)

<< current

The Waking

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I cannot go.

We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.

Light takes the Tree, but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me; so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.

This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.

--Theodore Roethke


Joy's Updates - Straight from the Horse's Mouth.
Thursday, July 31, 2008  

Now that I'm a senior citizen, I embrace my inner Bernice and feel even closer to her. I think I might be related to her husband. Notice the references to his being a "dancing fool" and having been a fire eater. Aha! Dancing Flame! Charlie was right. Here's what I found on the Designing Women website.
"The Little Fruitcake"

Bernice Clifton is the addled best friend of Suzanne and Julia's mother, Perky Sugarbaker. After Perky moves to Japan, the ladies look after the widow Mrs. Clifton at their mother's request. But keeping up with Bernice can be extremely difficult since she has an arterial flow problem above the neck that causes her to behave rather outrageously. Bernice sends the group health tips and enters everyone in contests. She's been known to phone Suzanne to say, "If you're not going to eat all the food in your refrigerator, why don't you just put it in a cab and send it over to me?" Bernice lives in a retirement community called Hillcrest Leisure Land, and, since she is easily bored there, makes frequent visits to Sugarbakers for the afternoon. After a while, the ladies become used to Bernice's eccentricities --- often delegating the responsibility of entertaining her to Anthony.

Bernice's late husband, Louis Clifton, came from a circus family where he was billed as a "dancing fool." One of Louis' uncles was a fire-eater, a talent he taught to Bernice. She has a charm-free niece named Phyllis McGuire and twin great-nephews, Nick and Dick --- though Bernice thinks both boys are named Dick. Her father was a Southern Baptist minister and when "all her circuits are burning," Bernice is a scripture authority.

Having never had any children, Bernice thinks of Anthony and the ladies of Sugarbakers as if they were her own. Her odd behavior drives Suzanne absolutely crazy, and she often refers to Bernice as a "little fruitcake." Anthony is the subject of her motherly attention --- and alternately her uninhibited lust. Actually, Bernice often implies that Anthony is hot for her --- along with many others with whom she claims to have had wild encounters. However, she has been known to claim Anthony as her illegitimate son and frequently breaks into a song of her own invention when Anthony is near --- "Black Man, Black Man." She also does not look favorably on any of his girlfriends --- commonly referring to them as she-beasts.

Bernice is very active, participating in senior citizen beauty contests and dance contests, but she has been known to loudly question the concept that growing old gives you a talent for arts and crafts. Therefore, Anthony ends up spending many afternoons shuttling Bernice around town as she tries to turn each trip away from the retirement village into a roller coaster of an event.

The most frequent guest star of the series, Alice Ghostley appears as Bernice in 45 episodes over the course of seven seasons, including two 2-part episodes. Though she is never a credited member of the cast, her frequent appearances outnumber those of series regulars Allison, B.J., and even the longer running Carlene. By Season Seven, Bernice appears in almost every episode.

This was one of my favorite scenes Bernice was in:

Bernice and Anthony enter Sugarbaker's with Bernice blowing a party horn.
BERNICE: Happy New Year!
JULIA: Well, Happy New Year, Bernice.
BERNICE: (blowing horn at Suzanne) Happy New Year, Suzanne.
SUZANNE: Happy New Year to you too, Bernice.....ya little fruitcake.
JULIA: Suzanne!!
SUZANNE: Oh, she knows I'm just kidding. She loves for me to call her that, don't you Bernice?
BERNICE: It's ok. I would mind though, for example, if we were at the White House.
SUZANNE: Ok, I'll remember that.
MARY JO: Bernice, why are you wearing your Christmas tree skirt?
BERNICE: Well, this is the skirt you gave me for Christmas.
MARY JO: Yes, I know. It's not to wear. It's a Christmas tree skirt. You're supposed to put it around the base of your Christmas tree.
BERNICE: Oh! Well no wonder. I like to never got this thing on. I finally just let the waist out and tied it with a belt.

Alice Ghostley was a wonderful Bernice.

7:17:00 PM

is powered by Blogger.
Weblog Commenting by