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Ramblings from a Southern liberal, Boomer, single parent, grandmother, reunited birthmother, cancer survivor, pop-culture observer, retired teacher

Most dramatic lymphoma posts are from June 2002 - February 2003 archives.

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The Waking

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I cannot go.

We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.

Light takes the Tree, but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me; so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.

This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.

--Theodore Roethke


Joy's Updates - Straight from the Horse's Mouth.
Thursday, September 19, 2002  

Dr. Burkey said my neck is healing really well and that he thinks it should just heal from the inside out instead of doing a graft. I'm glad not to have more surgery right now. There are hard, lumpy places under my chin and jaw and front of my neck that are lymphadema ( not sure how to spell that ) which will take from 3-6 months to go away. I asked Dr. Matheny (I saw him quite a bit in the hospital - he's on staff there) if I were going to look like the Elephant Man in my neck since he told me my neck would never look normal because some of them would still be there. He said not that bad, so I asked, Elephant Boy? He said Elephant Baby. I guess that's not too bad.

I go back to see Dr. Burkey in 3 weeks and will keep taking antibiotics until then. I still feel really tired from the anemia and will be glad when the Procrit does its thing. I was so sleepy last night that I went to bed at 9:00 and slept well.

We veered off some in the conversation yesterday since Dr. Matheny told Dr. Burkey that Monty Python and the Holy Grail was my favorite movie. I mentioned that to him and the residents when I told him I felt like that guy they threw on the death cart who said, "I'm not quite dead!" when I went in to see Dr. Burkey that Friday. Dr. Burkey said that wasn't far from the truth. They all admit that I was almost dead and could have died soon if nothing had been done. That is really scary, isn't it? Then Dr. Burkey said he'd just seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and we laughed about the funny things in it. I like those guys there. Dr. Burkey is all business when it's about medical stuff and is a great doctor.

7:09:00 AM

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