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The Waking
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I cannot go.
We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.
Light takes the Tree, but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me; so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.
This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.
--Theodore Roethke
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Joy's Updates - Straight from the Horse's Mouth.
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Monday, December 02, 2002
Another Day, Another Doctor
Dr. Burkey said my neck is doing really well and that it looks perfect. I don't have to bandage it anymore and can use a band-aid on it until I feel comfortable letting it go without anything. I told him it was going to be hard to go from being so careful with it to doing nothing. It will be good to take a shower without worrying about bandages that got wet anyway. He said it would have a scab and then heal with just skin there. Then he put something on it that cauterized it and hurt - it still hurts and looks gray and weird. I'm going back to see him Jan. 20. When I had scans before, they noticed an enlargement or growth on my thyroid. Dr. Burkey wanted to wait until my neck healed more to do anything about it, so now I'm supposed to have an ultrasound and fine-needle biopsy on it. As Roseanne Rosanna Danna said, "It just goes to show. It's always something!" So I'll end this year with tests and scans and get results in January.
Mother and I had lunch at Calypso before and then went to Bellevue Mall after the appointment and did some shopping. I asked her if she had any hats I might be able to wear and she brought me a couple that were Mae's. I wore a felt one with a brim and band around it that is a sort of burnt orange or pimento color. I'm almost like a man when it comes to names of colors. I need Paige to describe them for me. The point though is that I felt better wearing the hat than I have for a while. With the hat, I didn't feel like I look sick now that my hair has gotten even thinner. Mother also brought a red felt one with a black band that was Mae's and another knit one that was Aunt Ruth's. It feels like having them with me a little.
It's been brought to my attention that I credited the "retroactive chemohead" remark to the wrong person. It was Brian who said it and not Sally. I changed it on Friday's post. My apologies, Brian! So many people pick on me that it's hard to keep it straight! I don't understand why either. I'm so sweet to them all - just a bit of smicking now and then, that's all!
8:27:00 PM
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