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The Waking
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I cannot go.
We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.
Light takes the Tree, but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me; so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.
This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.
--Theodore Roethke
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Joy's Updates - Straight from the Horse's Mouth.
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Thursday, February 09, 2006
Catching Up
Things have been hectic and stressful during the week since I've posted. I made a day trip to Signal Mountain (part of Chattanooga) for Kelsey's spelling bee Friday. I got up in the middle of the night (2:00 AM), so I could get to Kathy's at 6:00. That's 7:00 their time. I made it but without much sleep. Driving during that time works out well since there isn't much traffic. I listened to an audio book and enjoyed the drive. Kathy made a breakfast casserole, so I ate with them and rode with her to take the younger kids to school. We met Kathy's mother-in-law at the school and got ready for the spelling bee. Kelsey did well but got out in the 3rd round when she missed "essence." The boy who usually wins it, won again and goes on to the regional. Kathy volunteers at school, and while she helped in the computer lab, I stayed in her car and napped. It helped. We had lunch and visited some more, and I drove back home. It's a three-hour drive, and I got to hear the rest of the book.
When I got home, I had two messages. One was to substitute for a friend who will go on maternity leave for six weeks in March. She teaches biology (honors and II). I don't want to do that but especially not on substitute's pay. I might have to sometime if I have extra expenses like I am having now, so I guess I shouldn't rule it out completely. I think if I return to teaching, I'd rather teach half-time at half my salary, but I'd try to find something else first. When I returned the other message, I found out my CT scan Monday would cost me $565! It took the rest of the weekend making calls to friends since I didn't get an insurance packet to find out what was going on. Horizon is in-network, but Cigna (our new sucky local insurance instead of the BC/BS with the State we should be on) has a deal with independent imaging places where we pay nothing. I found that out Sunday when I called the agent at home (before the Super Bowl). I worked Saturday at the vitamin center and stressed out about this until Monday morning when I went to my oncologist's office to have his receptionist cancel my scan and schedule it with the place in Nashville.
Monday was quite a day. Everything went well with the scan (annual abdominal CT to be sure the lymphoma is staying away) except for drinking that gaggy contrast. It's gross. I'd noticed that my gray long-haired cat Columbo had been lying around and was sick, so I took him to the vet. He and Brigit (the short-haired blonde cat) needed their shots and all, so I loaded them into their carriers and made the drive to Mark Brannon's office. After blood work and an x-ray, Mark said Columbo had kidney failure and was very sick. They kept him there until yesterday afternoon when I brought him home. His BUN and Creatinine levels were back down to normal after being in the death range. They gave him subcutaneous fluids and catheterized him. I went to visit him and felt so sad for how sick he was. Mark and San (vet tech and friend) said there was an obstruction which caused toxins since his bladder wouldn't empty. He has antibiotics and Methigel which are so much fun to give a cat.
He's feeling so much better but hasn't used the litterbox since he's been back which is scary. He'll try, but nothing happens. I've been watching him and called the vet this morning. I'll have to take him back in if he doesn't go. I'm so worried about him and hope he gets better. I love having pets until it gets to this part which is heartbreaking. I still miss Clancy, and it's been 10 years since he died. They are wonderful companions with all the positives and negatives that go along with them, and I love them.
On a brighter note, Mother had her appointment with the retina specialist yesterday afternoon. I went by the funeral home again! 2006 has begun with so many deaths. Then I picked Mother up and drove her to Nashville to her appointment and lunch at Calypso. I usually tell her later on how she did on the eye exam. Dr. Moffatt said she's doing well and holding her own. She's been fortunate to have good health, energy, and a positive outlook. I'm glad I'm retired and can do things for her she needs and wants.
I am working this afternoon as usual on Thursdays. If Columbo doesn't go to the litterbox soon, I'll have to make another trip to the vet. The bill was really high! It's a good thing I went to Nashville for that scan, so I could pay the vet bill. Whew!!
My cousin Donna has been in the hospital to get her asthma under control and still feels bad. She's been under so much stress that I'm not surprised something wasn't affected by it. I hope she feels great soon and that Lynn hangs in there!
I'm hoping for calmer times for all of us. That curse about "may you live in interesting times" is is an effective one.
8:45:00 AM
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