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The Waking
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I cannot go.
We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.
Light takes the Tree, but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me; so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.
This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.
--Theodore Roethke
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Joy's Updates - Straight from the Horse's Mouth.
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Sunday, June 22, 2003
Blogiversary
I've been writing this blog now for over a year. It's been quite a dramatic year, hasn't it? I suppose I'll be having some "a year ago at this time" thoughts. I'm glad I have this behind me and got through it. Looking back on the fear, uncertainty, close calls, needles needles needles, exhausted veins, waiting for news, struggles, and sleepless worrying makes me realize that teaching won't be so bad. I've dreaded going back. I get tired easily and am not on an even keel emotionally. I've been researching every possibility I could imagine to be able to retire, but it's not sensible for me to do that now financially. In the long run, I need to continue teaching a couple more years. I do dread the month I'll have Rituxan treatments again since it will be during school. I can have the last round when school is out.
Something fun about entering the blog world has been reading other blogs and meeting people who have become friends. I've followed links and read some fascinating thoughts and experiences and feel part of a sort of community of other bloggers. I am in touch with students in the Netherlands, Elise and Gerko, and both are friendly, helpful, and fun. I discovered Margot's blog when I logged onto Blogger one day and became a fan of her writing and really enjoy knowing her. Through her, I started reading the blog one of her friends (M) writes. Some of his posts have blown me away. They are both neat people I admire so much. Then there is Scaryduck who makes me laugh and smile every day. He's the English nephew I never had and my friend. I read his blog daily and keep in touch with him and feel as if I know his family and pets. (poor Molly)
This has also given me an opportunity to be in closer touch with friends and family. I've renewed friendships with former classmates, students, and colleagues - which reminds me that I need to email some of them and get back in touch. It's felt good to run into people I know who mention reading something on my blog and keeping up. I appreciate it and am glad to know it.
Upon reflection, this has been a year of many blessings, but I still don't want to go through this again! I'm glad I survived and am still here.
11:18:00 AM
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