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Ramblings from a Southern liberal, Boomer, single parent, grandmother, reunited birthmother, cancer survivor, pop-culture observer, retired teacher

Most dramatic lymphoma posts are from June 2002 - February 2003 archives.

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The Waking

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I cannot go.

We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.

Light takes the Tree, but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me; so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.

This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.

--Theodore Roethke


Joy's Updates - Straight from the Horse's Mouth.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008  
Best Laid Plans

Butch Bell died last week. He was a third generation doctor here in our county. He's my brother Butch's doctor, and my cousin Sherry has been his nurse for several years. His sister Michelle was my son Brian's first girlfriend. Before that I was her homebound teacher for six months while she had mono. I got close to her and her mother Lavinia during that time and even more so when she and Brian went together for three years. I went to the funeral home Sunday and had a good visit with Michelle and her husband Raymond. I know that sounds strange, but that's how it is, isn't it? They live in California near San Francisco because Raymond does computer generated graphics for movies. These are only a few of the movies he's worked on because he also worked on The Hulk, The Spiderwick Chronicles, Cloverfield, and more. Michelle is on lots of boards, works for a veterinarian, grows a garden, makes bath and body products, and so many more things I can't even remember them. She stays active, busy, and involved.

It is sad for someone to die so young. He was 59. I went to his funeral yesterday. Two cell phones rang during it. Please announce before my funeral for people to turn the sound off on their cell phones. I've been talking about songs and what kind of funeral I want to Brian for about 20 years. At first he did the equivalent of sticking his fingers in his ears and humming. He did not want to hear about it. Later on he would listen but say, "Yeah, because we know it's all about you." Well, isn't it? I guess he's finally gotten used to it and goes along with me. I've said that the first thing someone needs to say is how much I wish I could be there. I can't stand to miss anything and would like a rehearsal while I'm still alive so I can be in on what will happen. I want people to write in those journals but just have to know what they write and am thinking about sending them out for them to do now, so I'll have plenty of time to read them.

I called Brian to tell him about the funeral, and we critiqued it. He mentioned some things he did not want at his and then added, "Not to be all YOU about it." That's my boy! He makes me laugh.

11:40:00 PM

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